Joy for the Journey
To those of you who have been pregnant and to those of you who haven’t . . . please pray with me for joy in this journey.
To be honest . . . maybe I have just been pregnant for too many times in the almost seven (Oct.28th) years that we have been married . . . there haven’t been very many months when I haven’t been expecting a child.
I truly love my children fiercely and probably if I had to do it over again, I would choose the same path . . . but please allow this woman to share her feelings (and then I’ll feel better . . . isn’t that a woman thing?) You know, I’m not asking for advice nor do I want you to “fix” it . . . I just want a listening, sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on and someone to laugh with . . . I am after all very pregnant and need a good cry!!!
Okay, here’s the history . . . We had a honeymoon baby. I was in poor health to begin with. Adjusting to married life, a new community and 24 long hours from where I grew up. I had cancer again. Surgery had to wait till a few months after baby came. Then Jeremiah came along 14 months after Japheth on Labor Day( Sept). That February I miscarried twins three months along. Then in June I miscarried Jewel (six weeks) then the next March came Loraine, then the next March came Wayne, then the next April came Jaden. (He is is 17 months old now and I am due in Nov).
Each of these babies (especially the first ones) I HAD to trust God that strength would come to care for them, cause I couldn’t see how in my frail human way that I could do it. God was faithful . . . there were many days of tears and frustrations, but many days of joys also . . . I think though in the last few years (now that I’m recovered from cancer) I’ve been trying to do more things in my own strength, not leaning as hard . . . and today I realize that once again I need him desperately to fill my life with JOY for the journey as I am feeling desperately sick and tired of being pregnant . . .
“The Lord is their strength, and He is the saving refuge of His anointed. Save your people, and bless your inheritance; Shepherd them also and bear them up forever.” - Psalm 28:8-9
Now enough said of that . . . if you are a praying person though please join me in prayer for a friend, that I haven’t been in much contact with, but who has lots of children close together too and more than I. I am praying that she (Lily) would be able to come to Ladies Retreat in Sept. She lives in Wis. . . .”Oh, Lord, send someone to care for her family so that she could come and be refreshed in spirit if not in body also . . . ”
And for another gal I wish could go . . . please pray with me for their encouragement whether God answers in the specific way I am thinking or not . . . Just pray for them.
August 28th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Aimee-I know what you’re talking about. I haven’t had near as many pg’s or miscarriages as you, but it has felt so overwhelming to me too. My youngest is 18 mo and I have truly relished the days I have had since him. For the first 4.5 years of our marriage I was continually pg or nursing. I felt like I nearly went funny after he was born…more reasons than just him coming into this world, though! It has been nice to have a break, though, and I thank the Lord. One thing I really struggle with, is talking about it so openly as you have done. i have got critisized so much that I just clam up and don’t talk. Esp. by barren women, single women or people who believe in birth control and think that we need to ‘control ourselves.’ I for one applaud this post because what you are feeling is very real. Feelings are REAL and we’re living REAL life…how else can we encourage one another if we cannot be open with where we are at?
August 29th, 2007 at 2:35 am
oh, bless you bless you for this post!! Like cretora, I know what you’re talking about! Praying for you and Lily (and me) and all the other mothers of lots of littles who need JOY for the journey!
August 29th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Thank you, thank you, and thank you again for this post. I’ll be praying that God blesses you with joy again today. Is the ladies retreat you’re talking about the one in Georgia, or do you have a different one closer to you? I was longing so much to go to the retreat and it didn’t work out this year. I’m sure God had a reason, but it was hard.
August 29th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
I will pray for you and your friend. I also have had times of feeling overwhelmed. Thanks for being so open and honest. May God wrap his loving arms around you and give you strength!
August 30th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
You know, Aimee, though I can’t say I’m at the same stage in life as you, I certainly respect those that are! I was blessed by reading your post and hearing of God’s faithfulness to you in ALL things. Praying . . .
August 31st, 2007 at 2:45 am
And blessings to you for thinking of others who need refreshing.
I’ve been there too–not as many as you but always being pregnant does a number on a body. Be borne up!
September 1st, 2007 at 2:40 am
Aimee, I’m adding my gratitude to these others who are glad someone else understands and isn’t afraid to voice it! Be looking for an email soon! (Hopefully)
Bless you for being so honest and open!
September 5th, 2007 at 2:51 am
O how I remember those “Days” I have only had 6 children and one is with Jesus thru being stillborn but even in my busyness of the ages I have now I get overwhelmed too…you’re post was so refreshing!