Just a Daisy in the Meadow

What constitutes a simple life . . . for you?

“I have been crucified with Christ:

It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; . . .” – Galations 2:20a

“I will go before you,

And make the crooked places straight;

I will break in peices the gates of bronze

And cut the bars of iron.

I will give you the treasures of darkness a

And hidden riches of secret places.

That you may know that I the Lord,

Who call you by your name,

Am the God of Israel . . .

I have called you by your name;

I have named you,

Though you have not known Me . . .

I make peace and create calamity, I the Lord do all these things . . .”

As I look ahead . . . I start to worry and fret . . . . It seems the more I have to do, the less time and energy I have to do it . . . (of course I am speaking at a down time . . . a time of cleaning out the van, dealing with mud and sand, lots of laundry from a trip and relating to grumpy children) . . . and I think ahead of getting ready to leave for our long trip  in about a month . . . early Monday morning after a weekend of church camp out and it looks mountainous! I want the house clean not only for my sake this time, but because their will be another family using it for a week while we are gone . .  . and I would like to start out rested up (Ha!) . . . . you know how it is . . .

And so I wonder and have wondered so many times in the last few years, why it is or why did God make it so that the more little ones we have, the more needs to be done and the busier we are, the less time time we have to do it . . .  there’s more laundry, more dirt brought in, more squabbles to settle, more hurts to kiss, more, more, more . . .

I know the children ARE much more of a help now then they were three years ago . . . or two years ago . . .  even one year makes a BIG difference . . .  but still . . .

And so the only thing there is to do  (maybe that’s why God has it this way) is to step back into his arms and trust that everything will come out alright . . .  no, the house may very well embarrass me, but I will have to let go and let God do a work in my heart of releasing and committing my life in His care and REST there . . .

Ever sing this song?   . . . “Fret not, He’s watching over you, Fret not the Lord will see you through . . . Commit thy way unto the Lord, all you need He will afford, Never fret or be oppressed, commit and trust, delight and rest . . .”

“Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him . . .” Psalm 37:5a

"She knows better"  I heard over the phone yesterday . . .  and my heart cried . . . .cause knowing better doesn’t make one choose the straight and narrow . . .

. . . But knowing God causes one to fear the Lord and depart from evil.

"The fear of man bringeth a snare but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.By mercy and truth iniquity is purged and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil."                - Proverbs

“The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God’

They are corrupt, they have done abominable works,

There is none who does good.

The Lord looks down from heaven upon the children of men.

To see if there are any who understand, who seek God . . .” Psalm 14:1-2

“Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs,

rather than a fool in his folly.” – Prov. 17:12

“A foolish son is a grief to his father,

and bitterness to her who bore him. ” – Prov. 17:20

“The foolishness of a man TWISTS his way,

and his heart frets against the Lord.” Prov. 19:3

There’s not too many places one can cry in private in this household . . . and the other day I was outside in tears (I wasn’t particularly wanting their attention at the moment)when my six year old asks Japheth, “Does Mama have to go to the bathroom?” (Ah, if only that was the extent of it . . .) You know how it is for them . . . they have to go soooo bad and at times don’t come in soon enough . . . I guess this is what they thought happened with Mama!

And today . . . my tears consisted of my heart’s cry “Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear me and ALWAYS keep all my commandments that it might be well with them and with their children forever!” The frustration of all the PRECEPTS and LINES and HERE A LITTLE and THERE A LITTLE’s that it takes to get something across . . . It would be much easier to take up dog training me thinks

I think too that there are times to let the children see that this “problem” brings you to your knees and how distressing it is,in that it makes one cry aloud . . . Maybe this doesn’t happen with you . . . but if you have one child multiply that by six, add a certain time of the month and a REALLY messy house and I assure you, that YOU will be in tears too. Trust me.

“As for me, I will call upon God,

And the Lord shall save me.

Evening and at morning and at noon

Will I pray and cry aloud,

And He shall hear my voice,

He has redeemed my soul in peace from the battle that was against me

For there are many against me . . .

Cast your burden upon the Lord

And He will sustain you;

He will never permit the righteous to be moved . . .

You number my wanderings;

Put my tears into your bottle;

Are they not in your book?

When I cry out to you . . .

– Taken from Psalm 55 & 56

My heart is so full of thanksgiving and praise right now . . . I don’t really know how to express it . . . I have been able to take the time to enjoy and revel in the thrill of a new baby this time. God had granted me the desire of my heart to be able to “stop and smell the roses” and I am deeply awed at His way of working things out!

I don’t know if you all remember or not but last time before Jaden was born I was fearful of the anticipated after pains and they were BAD! This time I was determined that some medication or something HAD to be done . . .I desperately didn’t want to go through those two first weeks after baby again.

So all along I was thinking that I would see that I get something to help me out. One of my friends had that kind of help and right from the get go I let my doter know that this is I wanted. Well, I didn’t see her for a long time (while using our midwife) so a few weeks before our due date we petitioned my request. Much to my dismay, she denied wishes!!! I couldn’t take it, I bawled and wept bitter tears into my pillow! Oh, why? Oh, God how am I going to handle this again, I can’t!!! And then I released it and let go . . . I just decided that I guess this is the way things are going to be and I can’t change them as much as I would like to! So I just tried not to think about them or dread it anymore but just take it one day at a time and somehow with the Lord’s help I’d make it through.

. . . And this is how He answered me.

I was able to have my baby at home again . . . but early on in my pregnancy I kept thinking that something might just be different this time. After all, after several healthy births one still cannot take it for granted that everytime will go smooth and safe. God does bless His children, but he sends ” rain on the just and the unjust” . . . and every time we’d drive by the hospital I’d think “One of these times, I just might not be so “lucky” to not have to come here.”

And so it was . . . I ended up there . . . on the hospital bed thanking the Lord that it wasn’t worse.

After pumping me up with several ivies, they got my blood pressure from 73 over 38 up to 110 over 60 (I think) and left me alone till the morning and then checked my hemoglobin. It was pretty good they said at 8.8 so I didn’t have to have any blood. But this is what I find interesting . . . I wasn’t in there long before I let them know how I was feeling with the after pains and guess what, God provided relief for me there!!! . . . And to clinch it even more toward morning they put me on pitosun(sp?) and got my uterus to get to work an clamp down and shrink a bit to make sure the bleeding was going to stop for sure I guess and all this was done WHILE I was on pain meds! Praise the Lord, Hallelujah!!!

. . . And so now I can enjoy my newborn baby . . . and enjoy nursing. Which last time took me at least two weeks before I was somewhat pain free with. I am counting my blessings every day!!!! Praise be to the Lord!

When one is discouraged what does one do? It takes lots of will power to praise God for “little” things when huge things are making such a negative impact . . . right? Singing does lift the spirits . . . but at times ones spirits are so low that all that that produces is tears . . . at least if your like me . . . Prayer has been applied already too many times to count . . . the whole body “groans with words that cannot be utterd” all day, for many days . . . so what then? . . . you don’t really want to ask someone else to pray with you, for you AGAIN, one doesn’t want to complain . . . so you wait . . . for God to pull you through . . . you know He can . . . and He will . . . but His timing is often different than our impatient hearts would like . . .

And then . . . He does . . . He covers you with His feathers, and under His wings He gives you refuge . . . Our Father . . . like a mother hen caring for her children . . . oh, to be like a child again and to rest in such care . . . We ARE children . . . and our Father LOVINGLY  cares for His own . . . He is trustworthy! He proved Himself to me again today!

“He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge . . .” – Psalm 91:4

1,2,3,4,5! Celebration time . . . Papa made the party special with bringing home his helium balloon stuff . . . Hmmm, I wonder why they all say Janome

Date night . . . we drove down to Walker ( a little tourist town) to set up my card display in one of the stores there.

And this week I gathered enough bravo to visit a few stores and see if they would be willing to carry the photo cards that I’ve collected. Actually it was the Lord . . . without His help I would’ve been too scared to do this by myself! (Of course, I left all the children at home with a babysitter   though) And the Lord worked so that my cards are now displayed in a Tea and Gift Shoppe and in a Music Outlet (that recently bought out the cards from the Christian bookstore). Now both of these owners are friends of Japheth . . . so that helped too I’m sure!

Thank -you for all the prayers on my behalf . . .  I know for sure the Lord has heard them!  I have felt carried on His Wings the last week or two . . . the Lord has provided a variety of activities that keep me busily occupied and wonderfully happy  (now I know happiness or joy is a choice but sometimes it comes easier than others).  The children and I helped a friend do a garage sale (and this was at her home so I could take the children along and they had many toys and kittens and places to explore and keep them occupied), I have been making pickles and more pickles. and trying to keep up with the green beans (just for fresh eating, but we can eat a lot!)

We also had another answer to prayer .  . . a bigger place his business.  Part of my excitement about this is that there is a classroom that the children and I can come “camp out” in and be with him at times in his shop.  THIS is very exciting!  The winter may go by a lot faster with this option to get out of the house.

Jaden at play . . . fun fall days these . . . enjoying every minute the children can be OUTSIDE without getting all bundled up!!!

To those of you who have been pregnant and to those of you who haven’t . . . please pray with me for joy in this journey.

To be honest . . . maybe I have just been pregnant for too many times in the almost seven (Oct.28th) years that we have been married . . . there haven’t been very many months when I haven’t been expecting a child.

I truly love my children fiercely and probably if I had to do it over again, I would choose the same path . . . but please allow this woman to share her feelings (and then I’ll feel better . . . isn’t that a woman thing?) You know, I’m not asking for advice nor do I want you to “fix” it . . . I just want a listening, sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on and someone to laugh with . . . I am after all very pregnant and need a good cry!!!

Okay, here’s the history . . . We had a honeymoon baby. I was in poor health to begin with. Adjusting to married life, a new community and 24 long hours from where I grew up. I had cancer again. Surgery had to wait till a few months after baby came. Then Jeremiah came along 14 months after Japheth on Labor Day( Sept). That February I miscarried twins three months along. Then in June I miscarried Jewel (six weeks) then the next March came Loraine, then the next March came Wayne, then the next April came Jaden. (He is is 17 months old now and I am due in Nov).

Each of these babies (especially the first ones) I HAD to trust God that strength would come to care for them, cause I couldn’t see how in my frail human way that I could do it. God was faithful . . . there were many days of tears and frustrations, but many days of joys also . . . I think though in the last few years (now that I’m recovered from cancer) I’ve been trying to do more things in my own strength, not leaning as hard . . . and today I realize that once again I need him desperately to fill my life with JOY for the journey as I am feeling desperately sick and tired of being pregnant . . .

“The Lord is their strength, and He is the saving refuge of His anointed. Save your people, and bless your inheritance; Shepherd them also and bear them up forever.” – Psalm 28:8-9

Now enough said of that . . . if you are a praying person though please join me in prayer for a friend, that I haven’t been in much contact with, but who has lots of children close together too and more than I. I am praying that she (Lily) would be able to come to Ladies Retreat in Sept. She lives in Wis. . . .”Oh, Lord, send someone to care for her family so that she could come and be refreshed in spirit if not in body also . . . ”

And for another gal I wish could go . . . please pray with me for their encouragement whether God answers in the specific way I am thinking or not . . . Just pray for them.